Wednesday, December 31

Happy new year, or whatever

New Year’s Resolutions:

1. magically transform into a better, cleverer, more beautiful, physically fitter, healthier, more amazing human being
2. stop making resolutions I’ll never keep
3. shift this stupid cold (a month of nose blowing is just too much)

seriously tho, what goes up must come down, and all my childish over-excitement for Christmas definitely turns into a Scrooge-like disgust for ‘New Year’s Eve’ and all the dumb pressures that come with it. Yes it is a great excuse for a party, unless your friends (like mine) are scattered across the globe and you (like me) can’t last ten minutes without having to cough/blow nose/nap. I feel like everybody suddenly falls under this great delusion that everything they do on New Year’s Eve is going to dictate how their life will be for the next year and if they don’t do something super exciting with their night then they’ve failed.

I also find January a strange time to call a ‘fresh start’ - right at the bottom of the muddy icy ditch that is winter, and a long way to climb before you finally haul yourself out into the sunshine. It’s cold and dark and all I want to do is neglect all responsibilities, hide under the duvet and eat vast quantities of carbohydrates. If I’m actually going to make any resolutions, then springtime (brighter mornings, the first warm sun, salad weather, breton stripes and flowers and all that) or September (academic upbringing has instilled me to think of this time as new) are the times to write them.

I do dream of the new year turning me into this excellent human being who looks and dresses like Hepburn, is adept at yoga and can run for more than 3 miles, eats like a goddess or whatever but also makes burger-eating look elegant, who doesn’t just get firsts in her university assignments but always does them with creativity and originality, who has a fun social life, a part time job that magically earns enough to pay London rents, who is efficient and productive at least 90% of the time and always has something interesting to say/write/draw. But I know that this kind of existence is unattainable, that there will always be something that isn’t perfect. I guess if I were pressed to make new year’s resolutions tonight, mine wouldn’t be a list of rules but just some reminders - of positivity, productivity, less control freakery, fewer of the cripplingly high personal standards, more spontaneity, and no more doughnuts for dinner.

(pics taken with my geriatric iphone 4, all from the christmas holidays)

1 comment:

  1. I agree with lots of this. Jan is a pretty miserable long dark month, definitely not the best time for me to set goals for the year ahead. Also, I find that my priorities tend to change throughout the year so keeping to 'resolutions' is usually unsuccessful. I like your list at the end. Keeping positive, trying New things (no matter how small) and completing a creative project each month would be mine :) hope you feel better soon and happy New year! X
    P.s lovely pics btw